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Two days before new year 2018


It's two days before the new year 2018. The reflection I am going to share will be very personal.

I can say that 2017 is like a wasabi. It's just okay at the beginning, but it boom at the last. Just like my story. I was opened year 2017 with new optimism, hope, and spirit. Mostly, because I have granted a scholarship and the school for master degree. I'm cooling down myself on 2017 because my biggest dream is about to realize. I thought I was not doing something incredible during the year. I just preparing for my master by familiarizing with the information about living in London, studying at the LSE, and preparing the left administration, and active in a community called "Berbeda itu Biasa". At work, I also a bit chill because I know that I am going to be resigned. But actually, I have thought that I may find another job because 2016 project work was just very exhausting. I want to have a more humanize and meaningful office life experiences before I go to London. As a yearly basis habit, I and someone had created our yearly resolution letter to be opened on 31st December 2017 just on 31 December 2016.

Here you go
14 Jan - my best kakak kelas at high school was getting married. I was so happy for her. We attended the reception and also feel the love from the newly wed couple. And, on that time I was so into cozy and casual weekend to be spent with my loved ones: Mom, Bro, and Bf. So, almost every weekend I spent it by going to small and authentic restaurant such as Ragusa, joining walking tour by Jakarta Guide Tour, try out new restaurant, etc.

29 Jan - Me and my mother's family was celebrating Chinese New Year at my cousin's house. After that, me and my family also go to the shopping mall to have a Chinese New Year Dinner.

14 Feb - As always, my Bf was sent me a pretty gift for valentines day. I was told him to not buying me any flowers again because flower is costly. I told him to not spending that much for the gift. But, He surprised me by sent me a cute frame of paper flower craft with the text "You Will Always be My Valentine, Finka". Instead of having a candle light dinner, we have it with the MPM squad at Senayan City. We went to Remboelan Resto and have a massive chit-chat about the past and the future (no one is break up by then). And I was remembered that on the other day, Jakarta people needed to vote for the governor.

15 Feb - Because we were to sweet, we will never skipped the Valentines day. We went to the cozy coffee shop at Senopati, South Jakarta, and have a serious chat about something in the future.

18 Feb - I had an Annual Young Leaders for Indonesia conference. I always feel energized when met all of the YLIers. They always doing something amazing in their and others' life such as Ruang Guru. These people are always have a bunch of positive energy to be channeled to a positive activity. This is what I called "crazy" young people from all over Indonesia.
4 Mar - Just like I said before, I just want to spent a casual weekend with my loved ones. In that time, we went to the korean restaurant called "Chunggiwa" at South Jakarta again. I am so in love with South Jakarta for chilling out. I ate a lot, just because the portion was big :D

8 Mar - Is an International Working Woman Day. I spent it with my lovely office-mate, Marina. She is a workaholic woman who is very determined, smart, and caring. I always enjoy working with her because she is inspiring. Even though our working unit was different on that time, we still spent some times to have a lunch together.

11 Mar - I went to the Celebrity Fitness at Teras Kota, BSD to excercise. There, I met my Unpar friend, Felbet. She was working near to Teras Kota and also having an exercise there.

12 Mar - Another casual weekend. On that day, I spent it with my brother. We went to the park in BSD and Summarecon. We went to the "Taman Kota" and also "Scientia Park". We discovered the new urban life to chill and spend the weekend in the park not in the mall.

19 Mar - I got a free invitation to the Beautyfest event in Lotte and had an organised lunch with my girls cousins. We rarely spent time together, but it was really fun to spent it with them. Sharing about 'mothers' life, working life, working mother's life, etc.

25 Mar - My kind Bf was very considerate. He accompanied me to watch "The Beauty and the Beast" even though I knew that he is never into Disney movie for his entire life, specially for princess movie and he also bring my mom and bro to the German restaurant for dinner.

26 Mar - Me, my brother and friends from my community "Berbeda itu Biasa" was having "A Walk to Understand" a walking tour to visit different worship places with aim to get a better understanding about others religion and reduce the tense especially because of the Governor Election tense.

27 Mar - Was Mozart's 1st birthday! He was turning one, growing up healthy, silly, and adorable. We all love Mozart. We blew the candle from him.

28 Mar - My best friend from Germany was coming back home! We met at Plaza Indonesia and have some sweets at "AMKC Atelier".
 2 Apr - Me and my Bf spending our casual weekend by joining the Jakarta walking tour again to China Town. We really enjoyed it because we never went to China town together. And the walking tour is just a nice activity that you can spend with your loved ones.

9 Apr - My cousin and my Aunt were baptised. I went to the church and witnessed their important day.

11 Apr - For the first time after years, Me, Ari and Nugraha were playing badminton again. We play with the group of friends of Nugraha. On 19 Apr, we did it again and become a quite routine play (for 4 times only hahaha).

15 Apr - My Bf's birthday. 

21 Apr - Is Kartini's day. The Indonesian heroine that fight for woman equality in education in Indonesia. I wear the kebaya outfit and watch the Kartini movie which staring by Dian Sastro.

22 Apr - My birthday! I got a surprise SURPRISE from my Bf. No. No. No. He were coming to my house on 00.30 am, with cakes and special gift for me. So much loves.

27 Apr - Me and Stefani Patricia's ritual to celebrate our birthday together at Sushitei (to get the 2 bday sushi, of course!). We spent time together, talking about many things had happened in our life. And I think I doubt something about my relationship started from this month. I keep questioning what is wrong and try to figure it out in many ways.
5 May - Met the lovely people from PK-81 at Anomali Coffee after office hours. OMG. I still can feel the vibes on that day. We were very closed because of 5 days preparation from the scholarship grantor. We spent all the night talking about our life, preparation, administration we need to do, and most importantly remembering those days in the PK.

9 May - Ahok - the hero for the most of Indonesian - is accused because of  blasphemy. We all questioning the justice.

19 May - Our community, "Berbeda itu Biasa" was holding an "National Resurgence Day" on 19 May 2017 collaborating with Atma Jaya University.

22 May - I have a business trip to Malang to University of Brawijaya to attend the event in the Food technology faculty. I was responsible to set up the Sinar Mas booth and become the jury for Cooking Competition.
 1 Jun - With "Berbeda itu Biasa" and "Budaya Berbagi" we went to the road to distribute a food for those who are fasting. It was really meaningful to distribute the food to those who needs it.

19 Jun - A series of farewell and meet up with inner circle from highschool, college, and scholarship group. We meet because we know that most of us will not meet again in couple of years.

17 Aug - Counting the days for me to leave Indonesia for a while. On the independence day holiday, me, accompanied with my Bf buying the essential things I need.

20 Aug - Another casual weekend, we decided to hunt picture at the "Sunda Kelapa Port", the real port which is still operating. It was so much fun. We were not only hunting photos, we also canoing! And end up with romantic dinner at Segara, Ancol.

26-27 Aug - Me, Cink-cink, Stef, and Lia were hiking to Mount Papandayan. With the preparation from a month before, we finally managed to go there. This trip was also my farewell before I'm leaving. 

31 Aug - My last day at the office. The office that I spent for 4 years long. The very first office of me since I was just an intern until I promoted to handle bigger things. I really love the office, friends, colleagues, bossess, building. The building is just very strategic. It made me having a second home which is Grand Indonesia. I can spent 5 days on a week to go to Grand Indonesia either just to have a lunch, dinner, or date. The friends who are very supported and the bosses who are very inspiring and smart. Even though I didn't have a proper farewell in my last day, I still feel blessed that I have my first working experiences there.
- Farewell lunch with MPM Jakarta (Chandra, Evans, Anggi, Jessica, Katie, and Sandra)  and Bandung (Echa, Ali, Frida, Irfan)
- Farewell lunch with YLI ex Sinarmas (Leo, Kris, Cika-Hasnan)
- Farewell lunch with office mate - Change Management Team
- Farewell game with office badminton club
- Farewell dinner with YLI wave 5 squad (Ditto, Firman, Adi, and Aldith)
- Farewell Karaoke with HI Unpar squad (Dimas Muh, Dimas BP, Tazia, and Cink-cink)
- Farewell Sleepover with TEGAR (Jovi, Manda, Yovi, Feli, Greta, and Manda)
- Farewell Trip to Bandung with family (Mom, Bro, Bf)

9 Sept - The day when the new journey begins. I was flying with Garuda Indonesia from Terminal 3 Bandara Soekarno-Hatta, delivered by my mom, bro, Bf, Feli and Cink-cink. I felt excited and sad in the same time. I need to depart to other place 9000 miles away from home far away from my beloved ones.

10 - 20 Sept - Adaptation days. Opening bank accounts, moving out to the flat, getting to know the route, supermarket, school administration, books, friends, etc. I was fully occupied with the things happened in the whole month and craving support from home. On contrary, I felt like I need to report everything precisely and timely to home just like a reporter.
 Sept - Oct - Enjoying School life and London. Getting to know the city. Travel by foot to the places, doing weekly study group discussion, joining student society based on my interest (archery, badminton), create home feeling by socializing with other Indonesian students, cooking together, etc. Invited to the Ambassadors' place to have a dinner, participating in the "Sumpah Pemuda" ceremony, traveling to other city which were Bath and Stonehenge in the weekend and reading week, attending public lecture by Muhammad Yunus (Grameen Bank). All were coming so fast and made me very overwhelmed with the situation. Sometimes I need a time to stabilize my emotion while talking with home. It is so hard when you have bunch of new problems, but you also need to deal with others problem to be solved. Even though I am a good multi-tasker and problem solver, I found it hard in that time - I don't know why.

The boom just happened like that. I don't know how it started. But finally I said it clearly and made the decision sealed. I started to falling into pieces after a week later. Realizing that things change so fast and I need to cope up by my own. No families, no close friends. The feeling of your half soul is gone. And your heart is broken. I even cannot concentrate with the study. I need to go to library and finding quite place so I cannot be distracted. When I spent it flat, end up with prolonged sadness. I am always bad while dealing with broken-heart. When I saw my old blog, I remembered the feeling again and how dragging was the feeling.

Finally the fist term "Michaelmas Term" is over. A couple of Chistmas Dinner invitations were coming, also the formal End of term party. We cheered up that we survived the first term, even though I feel I don't make it maximally. And the 1 month holiday is coming. It is the time to heal, to reflect, to stand up again. I went to see my college friend at the city not too far from London, Leamington Spa. We also went to other cities like Statford upon Avon, Coventry, and Edinburgh. We spent the holy mass in the nice church at Leamington. I obtained so many learning key points on my recent holiday. I realized that this is the best decision I made in 2017. Because I can see that we both are going to the right direction. Meaning that we will find our self separately and be mature in our own way. We both keep wished ourselves for the best luck in the future. For me, I also learn a lot form the relationship. I need to lower down my ego and be more open for discussion. Before, I never realize what was my fault. Now, I understand that and will noted to the future self.  Never regret, embrace it, hope time heals.

Finally, thank you 2017. It was a great year and learning that I have in my life.